I’m alone, on a tennis court that fills with water the moment it rains, then doesn’t dry off for hours. The waves batter the beach. The sky’s forgotten it’s supposed to be blue. I practice my serve until I’ve smashed all the balls over the net, walk over and start again.
Before I hit each ball, I imagine it has Tony’s face. He’ll be drinking on our balcony with his friends. They’re revolting, his friends.
I’ve embarked on this trip with great expectations. Now I can’t remember what I liked about Tony.
At least I’ll return with a killer serve.
***
Second week of Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers. Find all the stories here.
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Ooowwee! Excellent! I loved that last line, “At least I’ll return with a killer serve.” I think this game is soon to be over. 😉 Thank you so much for participating and I really hope you will continue.
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Cheers, PJ! I’ll absolutely be back on Wednesday. Your first two images have inspired me to write two great stories I wouldn’t otherwise have written 🙂
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That’s great to know! I’m happy to hear that and I hope all the future images will keep inspiring you and the rest of us. 🙂
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I don’t think Tony will like that “killer” serve very much 😉 Great story!
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No, I don’t think he will… Thank you, Nortina 🙂
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Yes! I love this. Time to make a final serve/decision. Great conflict, introspection, setting details, and slightly open ending. I loved everything, but the three lines that stood out the most (to me) were “I’m alone, on a tennis court that fills with water the moment it rains, then doesn’t dry off for hours” — “The sky’s forgotten it’s supposed to be blue” — and — “At least I’ll return with a killer serve.”
In the first line, the narrator may be talking about the actual tennis court or her life. In the second line, she can be talking about the sky or herself. In the last line, she knows something has to change and is determined.
Thanks for the entertaining read!
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Izzy, I love your comment. Love, love, love it. It’s got everything I wanted to do with this story and more. Thank you so much!
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I love how the sky and the water describe the protagonists mood. Boy, Tonys going to get it!
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He certainly is! Thank you for reading 🙂
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great writing!
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Thank you Bynda!
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They don’t seem to be married – that’s a plus…and she’s thinking on the positive side into the future. I enjoyed this piece, Sonya.
Ellespeth
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No, they’re not married, and yes, she’s moving on. Thanks, Ellespeth!
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Superb! I love the way you conveyed a long story in such few words. Tony and his ways. The protagonist and her sadness, frustration and also determination. Also, the setting conveys the mood so well!
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Thank you so much. I love comments like yours because they show me that what I was trying to achieve is working 🙂
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I loved so many of the lines in this, so very descriptive and it sounds like I’m glad not to be Tony!
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Thank you, Cat! I’m certainly glad not to be Tony…
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Oh what I loved about this piece was how it took me by surprise. And you were able to wrap it up at the end. I got your animosity towards Tony and feel for your hatred towards his friends. And then you were able to look at the bright side of things. If you have enough words and really want to amp up the stakes, you could describe how hard you hit each ball till your muscles ached and the sweat dripped off your brow or something. But really great job!
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Thank you! I put this on my list of stories I’d like to turn into something longer – your suggestions will come in useful then 🙂
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Well written Sonya! Your ‘take’ on this prompt was excellent! You’ve also managed to use some great imagery in such a short piece. I love the section: ‘The waves batter the beach. The sky’s forgotten it’s supposed to be blue.’ The last line is simply brill. Great writing. 🙂
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Cheers, Millie! Oh dear, it’s taken me ages to get round to replying to all the comments. I appreciate your feedback, as usual 🙂
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Love the last line. At least she will have a killer serve and not have killed Tony. Although, he sounds like he might have deserved it 🙂
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Yes, he might have deserved it, but I think he wasn’t worth committing a crime for… Thank you, Kirsten!
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Amen to that!! It still might have been tempting for her 🙂
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