‘I see absolutely everything. Do I have to tell you off again?’
It does the trick. They go quiet. A moment later, two sets of eyes peek out into the garden. They have their ‘I’m innocent it was his idea’ expressions on.
‘How can you see, mummy? You’re hanging up the washing.’
‘You have your back to us, too.’
They don’t know that twin toddler boys are the noisiest creatures in the world.
‘I have eyes at the back of my head and I can see through walls.’
I hate myself for the lies, but some days there’s no other way to contain them.