The humble spoon. It looks innocuous. Some might call it benign.
Some have no imagination.
I don’t have a lot of time for people who pride themselves on their knife skills. Cutting out your victim’s heart with a knife, where’s the artistry in that? Also, a knife takes away the element of surprise. You pull a knife, people scream and fight and beg for their lives before you’ve begun to have any fun.
I get my spoon out, people laugh. They think they’ve been pranked, look for the camera.
They stop laughing pretty sharpish.
Because it’s dull. It hurts more.
What a rubbish week it’s been. First David Bowie, now Alan Rickman.
Remember Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves? Not a great movie, but it featured this immortal line from Rickman’s Sheriff of Nottingham: “Because it’s dull, you twit. It’ll hurt more.”