
‘How was date night with the hubby?’
You flinch. You didn’t tell him about dinner and a movie that isn’t an animation and drinks in a trendy bar. Did you? Is he trying to rattle you again? Or has he taken up stalking you online?
‘It was a lovely evening, thank you,’ you say, hiding your anger. His face is contorted into a grimace that masks all of his attractive features. You don’t like where the thought is leading.
He doesn’t take it well when you leave early.
From welcome change to
Yet another person to please,
Ugly and green-eyed.
***
Written for Day Three of Lynn’s Love Nudge competition.
Wow. I love this. 1) second person 2) rare focus on the man, not the hubby. 3) lovely haibun!
Did I say I love this? I love this.
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I agree. Interesting perspective you chose and I agree about the poem
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I have a serious thing for second person. It’s a good thing I write such very short stories, otherwise people’d get sick of it. Thank you 🙂
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You’re welcome 🙂 the second person thing works for chuck palahniuk. There are other writers who do whole novels in the second person. So I wouldn’t discount it. You write that pov well.
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No, I don’t discount it. I do love it – writing and reading it. But I’ve had quite a few people tell me that you just don’t write in second person. I’ve been meaning to read Bright Lights, Big City by Jay McInerney for ages – it’s second person, as well.
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I agree that it’s not done often but that makes a well done book in that pov even more stunning; it stands out from the crowd.
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Yes, that’s true. I have an idea for a longer story told in second person, maybe I’ll tackle it once I’ve finished the Scarlett edits (which, at this rate, is going to take another year
)
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well there’s time enough for both 🙂
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Thanks Annie! You’re making me blush 😊
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You’re welcome 🙂 I’m just telling the truth 🙂
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🙂
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You are so good at this! Love it!
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Thank you! But is it National Make Sonya Blush Day? 😊
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Maybe it is!
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Oh, very tense situation! I love it! Side piece better get in line. He’s supposed to be easy. Haha! 😀
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Yeah, I think he didn’t get the memo… Thanks Nortina 😀
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This situation is turning sinister – she’s got to finish it, surely? Love this – again, Sonya. It works so well – and that sense that she’s losing control of a situation she’s created, that she’s soon going to be out of her depth … Can’t wait to see where this goes. Really very good. X
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Tbh, I think she left it too late. Still don’t know how exactly it’s going to end, though.
Thanks, Lynn, really glad you’re enjoying it x
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It’s going to be interesting, that’s for sure! So glad you’ve been able to take part. 🙂
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I would have been stupid not to, seeing as it’s right up my street 🙂
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Just put my 3LineTale up – though noticed my 3 sentences were four times longer than anyone elses, complete with dashes as cheats! Great fun, even if I have bent the rules a little – apologies 🙂
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No problem. I think I’ll write a page with proper rules this weekend where I’ll make it clear that whatever the writer defines as a line shall be fine by me. I don’t want people to think they have to write lots of words, but if they want to, that’s fine 🙂
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No one likes a difficult side course. It’s supposed to be light and distracting, not cumbersome and whiny.
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